The Prankster Files
by FishyFloat
Summary: Pranks are part of life when you play on a pro-sports team. They're even worse when part of that team is an unabashed trickster. 10/10/2013- Ch 5 added: What's a duck to do when a vital piece of clothing goes missing?
1. Trading Spaces

**AN:** Yes, another story from me! I've been reading a lot about life as a pro-NHL player. Turns out, they play pranks on each other a _lot_. Perfect fodder for a Nosedive story! I'll probably add to this as more pranks come to mind. This one is based off an actual prank the Pittsburgh Penguins did on each other. Check Youtube for "Penguins Hotel Prank" if you want to see the actual inspiration.

* * *

"You coming to dinner tonight, bro?" Wildwing asked as he leaned on the door frame to Nosedive and Duke's room.

The youngest member of the Mighty Ducks team lay on the hotel bed, stripped to his boxers, remote in hand.

"You guys go on ahead. I'm gonna stay here and watch some cartoons."

"I think I'll stay behind too." Duke, dressed in his swim trunks, towel in hand, held the door open. "I'm gonna hit the pool. We can get room service."

"Okay then. See you guys later." Wildwing waved to his teammates as he joined Grin, Mallory, and Tanya in the hallway. They were going to try a new Italian restaurant that had opened in Manhattan. The one good thing about road trips was the constant variety of foods they could try.

As soon as the room door closed, Duke vanished back into the bathroom.

Nosedive counted to thirty before jumping up and checking the hallway to see if they were gone.

"Coast's clear!" He grabbed his clothes and started dressing.

Duke found his lock picks and beat Nosedive out the door. The youth hopped after him, still pulling on a boot.

The former thief crouched in front of the door to Tanya and Mallory's room, studying the lock. He chuckled to himself.

"These things are too easy." He grabbed a butter knife from a room service tray sitting in the hallway and stuck it in the side of the door, wiggling it around a little bit before it popped open. "Didn't even need to take the maids card or use my picks."

"All right-ski!" Nosedive cheered quietly as they entered the room.

As they expected, Tanya had bits of electronics scattered on her bed. Her duffel bag was partially opened, clothing sticking out haphazardly. A notebook with lots of scribbles lay on the night stand.

Duke grabbed Tanya's things and started stuffing it all into the lavender satchel hanging on a chair back, cleaning up the mess. Nosedive investigated the bathroom. Mallory had all of her toiletries laid out neatly on one side of the sink, each one placed precisely the same distance from the other. Without a second thought, the teen grabbed her pink and purple striped toiletry bag and swept everything into it. He checked the tub to see if they had run the water yet.

"Tubs good!" he called.

"Great." Duke came in, carrying both of Tanya's bags. He tossed them in the tub while Nosedive went back into the room and grabbed Mallory's neatly arranged things. They pulled the shower curtain closed, hiding all of the personal belongings.

"Wait a sec." Duke's one eye gleamed with mischief. He pulled all of the towels off the rack and put them on top of the girls things. The little soaps, soap dish, and coffee maker followed suit. Nosedive removed the roll of toilet paper from the holder and threw it over the shower bar. They pulled the curtain closed once more. It hadn't taken but a couple of minutes to make the bathroom look completely bare.

"So, couch first?" Duke suggested.

"Sounds good to me!"

The two pranksters went to work, removing every single piece of furniture from the room. They hauled it all out into the hallway and started putting the room back together outside. Duke's eye for detail helped recreate the room set up perfectly.

"Ehh... Almost there." He removed the paper lid from one of the glasses sitting on the table. After filling the glass with water, he put the lid back on, concealing the water line.

Nosedive wasn't even trying to hide his laughter as he fluffed the pillows on the bed. Spotting an outlet on the wall, he plugged in the alarm clock radio from the night stand and turned it on to a station he knew neither girl tolerated, talk radio. The lamp was plugged in and turned on as well.

They surveyed their work for a moment and gave each other a high five before heading back to their room.

0000

"Shh-shh-shh," Duke tried to hush Nosedive giggles. They were hiding around the corner from the elevator, waiting for the rest of their team to return. Fortunately, their room overlooked the hotel entrance, so they were able to see when the other ducks returned from dinner and knew they had a couple of minutes to get into their hiding space. This corner provided the perfect observation point and escape route.

The hotel door dinged as it opened and four ducks walked out. It only took two steps before Mallory spotted the room set up in the hallway.

"Is that ours?" Tanya asked. "Please, DuCaine, not 622," she prayed to the sky.

Wildwing tried to hide his smile. He had kept the mask in a bag at his side instead of wearing it. Without its cover, his amusement at the practical joke was plainly visible.

Mallory looked at the number on the room service menu left on a side table.

"It's 622," she sighed as Tanya groaned.

"Nosedive!" She pounded on the door to Nosedive and Duke's room. "Get your tail feathers out here and fix this now!"

Wildwing burst out laughing when another door further down the hall opened and a sleepy woman stuck her head out to see what was going on.

"Oh, you think this is funny?" Mallory turned to Wildwing. "Then you can fix it! He's your brother anyway."

Grin had the key to his and Wildwings room in his hand and was trying to slip past the irate right wing to get in. It was best to avoid Mallory when she was this worked up, even if the trick was a good one. Before he realized what had happened, Mallory snatched the key card from his grasp. She grabbed Tanya's wrist and pulled her into Grin and Wildwings room and slammed the door.

The door re-opened just wide enough for her to stick her head out.

"You can have your room back when you fix this." She threw her key card out the door before slamming it closed again.

Wildwing and Grin looked at each other, then started laughing. The captain picked up the key from the floor.

"Guess we'd better get this cleaned up if we want any sleep tonight."


	2. Room Service

**AN:** 06/06/2013 Yay! There's been a flurry of updates on Mighty Ducks fan fiction! I'm so excited to read all these new stories/chapters that have been posted. And here I thought this section of was mostly dead. Glad to be proven wrong!

Shortly after writing part one, Mallory demanded revenge. Unfortunately, she had to wait until my convention was over to get it. Maybe now she'll go back to War of the Oranges and play nice. But, who am I kidding? This is Mallory we're talking about! She always does her own thing.

Once again, the pranks are real pranks that hockey players have done on each other.

* * *

Mallory flopped down onto her hotel bed, staring at the ceiling. Grin and Wildwing had done a decent job putting the room back together. She even felt a little bad for Wildwing. There had been a large, wet spot on one pants leg where the cup of water on a table had fallen over while being returned to the room. She'd never admit it, but Nosedive and Duke had outdone themselves this time and managed to involve the whole team. This called for some serious payback.

"Any ideas for revenge?" Tanya asked. Clearly, she was thinking along the same lines as Mallory.

"None that don't involve dismemberment."

"We could always put cayenne in their water."

"You know Duke keeps a close eye on all his stuff. And that little twerp would probably enjoy it anyway."

"Heheheh, not if I used some Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce. I've used it to clean sludge off the zamboni."

The sound of muffled laughing filtered through the door. A door quietly closed in the hallway.

Mallory sat up and looked towards the door to their room, considering the sounds; one of those laughs sounded distinctly like Duke. She could hear a door open and close again. Getting up, she checked the peephole. Nobody was in the hallway, but she could make out the door across from them; it was the door to Nosedive and Duke's room. A long paper was hanging on the knob.

"Tanya, I believe I have an idea," she said with malicious glee as she opened her door and dashed into the hallway. It only took a few seconds for her to return, Duke and Nosedive's morning room service order in hand.

Tanya grinned, instantly inferring Mallory's intent. She found their blank room service menu and grabbed a pen.

"So, uh, what time did they put to have their food delivered?"

"Oh nine hundred. That seems a little late, don't you think?"

"Yeah. They should be up by at least six!"

"How about five thirty, just to be safe?"

Smiling at Mallory, she wrote the time on the menu. Perusing the options, she started ticking off several items.

"How about the yogurt and strawberries for Nosedive? And..." Tanya paused as she read, "Granola, milk, and cherry compote for Duke?"

"Sounds good." Mallory leaned over her roommates shoulder. "But, Nosedive is a growing boy! He needs more than that. Give him the half grapefruit, strawberries, and brown sugar."

Tanya nodded and put his initials next to that as well.

"You know, I think Duke would like the cereal assortment with added bananas," Tanya mused as she put Duke's initials next to that option.

"Why not get it for Nosedive too? He likes sugary cereals."

"Ooh, we can't forget drinks. Two pots of coffee for Duke and pure squeezed grapefruit juice for Nosedive. Lots of good antioxidants there."

"Decaf," Mallory suggested. "We don't want him hyped up that early in the morning. Dive might want something hot to drink. Add a hot chocolate or two."

"Might want to go with the salmon," Tanya added. "They'll need some protein."

"Toast! Whole wheat or rye?"

Tanya laughed. "Both. Just in case they can't make up their minds that early in the morning."

"Don't forget the strawberry jelly."

"That seems like an awful lot of strawberries."

"Have you ever tried to keep fruit hidden from that kid? He always finds my mangos!" Mallory tapped an item on the page. "Hey, Duke's got to put some weight on. Let's give him the pancakes too."

"Since they are picking up the tab for this, I think we should give Nosedive the french toast."

"We don't want to get too much for them." Mallory picked up the menu and studied it. "But this should be enough to hold them over until lunch."

"What did they order?"

Mallory picked up the menu she had set next to the TV and handed it to Tanya before quietly opening her door again and slipping the revised order onto Nosedive and Duke's doorknob.

"So?" Mallory asked upon her return. "What'd they get?"

"Two oatmeals with fruit, two orange juices, and the smoked salmon on baegels."

"You know you can't play on an empty stomach like that. It's a good thing we're here to take care of them."

"You know, uh, that sounds pretty good, actually."

"Same." Mallory took the menu back and put it on their door knob. "There's phase one of revenge. Phase two will have to happen at the game."

"Oh?" Tanya was intrigued. "What do you have planned?"

"A distinctly human prank. They'll never see it coming! And, we have to get Duke back for that little water stunt. It wasn't very nice of him making Wildwing pour water all over his pants like that."

"You're sure that part was Duke?"

"Nosedive didn't do all of that on his own. Whichever one did it, they both deserve what's coming to them."

0000

A roll of hockey tape flew through the away-team locker room. Duke easily caught it and started re-taping his stick, muttering to himself about the king sized breakfast wake up call and interrupted sleep. Four sticks, already wrapped in his signature style, sat on the bench next to him.

The visitor locker room of Crosby Arena was spacious, with non-descript gray carpeting. Honey colored wooden benches lined the pale concrete walls, leaving the center of the room open. A row of open-faced cabinets was mounted on the wall at eye level. Each cabinet had a space above it for the helmet, hooks for skates to be hung on, and a series of hangers underneath for the teams uniforms and pads. Space under the bench provided storage for a change of clothes after the game or any additional gear.

Wildwing was kneeling on the floor, strapping his goal pads in place. Nosedive, wearing everything but his jersey, was doing his usual pre-game ritual of dancing to the muffled music coming from the arena. Grin carefully ran his thumb and forefinger along the blades of his skates, deep in thought. Mallory and Tanya were doing their best not to look at each other and to act as nonchalant as possible.

Their game started at three thirty, which was a nice change from the late night games they usually played. They should be able to get back to Anaheim before two a.m. for once.

There was a knock on the locker room door and Phil entered.

"There's my winning team!" He exclaimed, arms open wide. "It's almost three. You guys ready for the warm up?"

"Just a sec, Phil!" Nosedive stopped jumping around and snagged his jersey from the hanger.

"Yeah, I'm ready." Duke stood and reached for the helmet resting on a shelf above his gear. When he pulled it off, a cup full of water hidden under the white helmet came with it, falling on the chipped beak and drenching the duck. Duke coughed and turned around, helmet in hand.

"All right, who did that?"

Mallory kept her back to him, but her shoulders were shaking with mirth. Tanya didn't even try to hide her laughter; she had to hold her stomach she was laughing so hard.

"Nuh-uh! Wasn't me!" Nosedive put his hands up, fingers spread wide to show innocence.

"Looks like payback for last night," Wildwing said as he stood, the corners of his beak turning up in a poorly hidden grin. Placing the mask on his face, he looked at Duke. "Maybe the next time you move furniture around, you won't leave glasses full of water on it."

Duke grabbed a towel and wiped his face off, smiling a bit.

"Never thought ya had it in you, Wildwing."

"Me?" The team captains eyes opened wide. "I didn't do it!"

Mallory quickly schooled her expression into one of annoyance before turning around. Her eyes, however, still sparkled with glee.

"Guys! Come on," Phil broke in. "You've got to get out there for the warm up! Fans are already filling the stands and waiting to see you guys. And don't forget, you have interviews after the game."

0000

"And the final score, Mighty Ducks two, Mongors one." A male reporter dressed in a dark gray suit with red tie held his microphone just in front of his chest. He stood in the walkway the players used to get off the ice and return to the locker rooms, waiting for the Ducks to file past so he could get some comments. "This was an exciting game with a last second save by Wildwing. Both goals of the game scored by Nosedive, with assists going to Mallory and Duke."

The cameraman zoomed out slightly to show the ducks exiting the arena behind the reporter. Wildwing exited first, followed by Grin, Duke, and Tanya. Noticing a missing duck, the camera turned to Mallory, who was still on the ice and taking something from a member of the other team. Before Nosedive had a chance to pass, the reporter stuck his microphone out and the camera swung back to the interview.

"You made both goals tonight!" The newscaster started. "Do you think you'll be able to continue your winning streak?"

"Hopefully we'll-" Nosedive was interrupted by Mallory gliding up behind him, a black towel in her hand. She reached around and smeared shaving cream on his face, leaving behind a mask of white as she jogged down the exit ramp.

The crowd started cheering and both reporter and camera man laughed as Nosedive wiped the fluffy white foam from his eyes. He blinked a little, and looked around, trying to figure out who the culprit was. He flicked his wrist, trying to throw the handful of froth to the floor, spitting a little as some of it got in his mouth. He couldn't help but smile. The roar of the crowds laughter and cheering reached a new level of enthusiasm.

"How's... Hahahha. How's that taste?" The reporter tried to keep his composure and failed.

"Not that good," Nosedive spit again, desperately trying to get the disgusting taste out of his mouth. He could see Mallory and Tanya peering around the door at the end of the exit ramp. The redhead gave him a thumbs up and Tanya smiled and moved out of view.

"All right," the reporter continued. "We'll let him off the hook with that. Mallory McMallard with the final word. Nosedive Flashblade, the star of the game. You know they will love this in the Ducks dressing room. Hahahaha."


	3. Do Not Open

**AN:** 06/06/2013 No hockey prank this time, but something inspired by a photo of snarky notes left by coworkers. I'm going to go leave a blank cup in the break room at work, just to see how long it stays there and if anybody does something about it!

* * *

It sat there, unmoving. Black handwriting on the surface proclaimed instant disaster if the cup was moved. Amazingly, this little, paper cup managed to torment all in its presence.

Tanya stared at the upside down paper cup left on the counter of the player lounge. She had no idea what was under it, nor did she want to be the one to find out.

_Do not open unless you plan to kill it_ was scribbled on the side of the cup. Tanya knew all of her teammates handwriting and this didn't look like any of them. Maybe it was left by one of the rink rats.

The blond duck grabbed a clean cup and poured herself a cup of coffee, leaving the insidious message to itself. She proceeded through the player lounge and back to the rink medical center to work on training the new assistant.

0000

_Do not open unless you plan to kill it_.

Wildwing was seriously confused by the cup left on the counter. Who would catch something, but then not take it outside or kill it themselves?

He tapped the cup, hoping for some clue as to what was inside. No skittering, scratching, or screeching noises could be heard. Obviously, it wasn't something like a mouse or tarantula. Nudging it, he tried to gauge if something heavy was inside, but the cup moved easily.

The team captain decided to take care of whatever it was himself. He grabbed a copy of Illustrated Sports from the coffee table and rolled it up. Holding his weapon at the ready, he snatched the cup up, prepared to destroy whatever was under it.

What he saw left the duck doubled over he was laughing so hard. Still grinning, he put the cup back over the lethal object and replaced the magazine. He grabbed an apple and went back into the locker room, chuckling to himself.

0000

Grin walked through the player lounge on his way to the stick room. He had noticed his stock of prepared hockey sticks was getting low and wanted to modify some more before the next game.

The sinister cup called to him.

The gentle drake sighed quietly to himself. Who would capture something and leave it to suffer under the cup like that? Even worse, whoever had done it was asking someone else to murder the trapped creature. Bad karma all around.

He flipped through a slightly curled copy of Illustrated Sports and removed one of the stiff cardstock advertisements inside. Slipping it under the cup, he picked up the makeshift cage and headed outside to free whatever was in there.

Once outside, Grin walked over to a palm tree just outside of the rink. He figured whatever it was would appreciate the dirt and bark over the concrete. Removing the cardstock he'd used to trap whatever was inside, he shook the cup upside down. All that floated out was a piece of paper. The small square landed face down in the dirt. Confused, he picked it up and looked at it. A smile slowly spread across his face and he returned the cup to the player lounge for someone else to find.

0000

"Alright. Who left this here?" Duke looked around the empty room. Nobody was in sight and there was no trace of who the culprit was.

He picked up the cup, not caring what was under it and not willing to kill it. Underneath lay a photo of him from their last game.

The photo had clearly been cut out of a newspaper. He had just been checked and was sliding down the glass sideways, eye closed. A female fan on the other side had her hands perfectly placed like she was holding up his beak and giving him a big kiss. The caption read _Fan Steals a Kiss_.

He threw both away and walked out of the lounge, muttering to himself about crazy fans needing to stick with their own species.

* * *

**AN:** For the sake of the curious, Nosedive left the cup. He had Chuck, the equipment manager, write the note so his handwriting couldn't be matched. Also, Duke and I feel the same about crazy fans and their interspecies relationships ;) So, don't expect to get any crazy OC's falling for the ducks in any of my stories! No offense to those of you who do write them. It's just not my thing.


	4. Drowned Duck

**AN:** 06/09/2013- What can possibly go wrong when doing laundry?

* * *

Chuck, equipment manager for the Mighty Ducks, pushed a heavy canvas bin full of dirty jerseys and clothing from the last home game. The older man loved his job, even if he did have to deal with extremely smelly laundry.

He was slightly disappointed to see the hose left out in the middle of the room again. They occasionally needed to hose off some of the smellier pads to really get them clean and then leave them on a drying rack with fans blowing on them. Hedge, the nickname his new assistant was given on his first day due to his prickly hairstyle, was a hard worker, but he rarely put the hose up after he was done with it. Chuck put it away and made a mental note to speak to his assistant about the matter again.

Whistling to himself, he cheerfully started sorting out the dark purple hockey shorts from the white practice jerseys. He had to smile to himself a little as a tan feather floated through the air when he tossed one jersey into another bin. He'd had to deal with the occasional hairy player in the past, but this lot brought a whole new range of issues with their gear. Doing the ducks laundry was like washing a down coat; there were always a few small feathers stuck to the inside of the machine when the load was done.

Once the colors had been separated from the whites, he grabbed the laundry detergent and went to the nearest washing machine. He opened the door, prepared to toss in the smelly gear when-

"RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Nosedive jumped out of the washing machine, yelling at the top of his lungs.

Chuck fell back in surprise, eyes wide, screaming in fear.

The prankster duck could hardly contain his laughter. He was bent over, one hand on his knee, the other pointing at Chuck, as he laughed so hard he could hardly breathe.

"Nosedive!" Chuck glared from his spot on the floor. "One of these days, you're going to give me a heart attack."

"Oh man. Hahahahahah! That was a good one." He wiped a tear from his eye and offered the downed manager a hand up.

"Just keep it up, duckie," Chuck warned. "One of these days, you're going to find a snake in your jersey."

"Cool!"

Not the reaction he'd hoped for. Sighing, he pushed the duck out of the room.

"All right, out of here. You can pick up your laundry later today. I just might make you deliver everyone else's too for that little stunt you just pulled."

"Awww, man! It was just a prank."

"Out!" He shut the door before Nosedive could protest.

0000

_One week later_

Chuck entered the players dressing room, observing the small mess. Most of the ducks were pretty good about throwing their dirty gear into the beige bins. He picked up the socks from under one bench and tossed them in. Most likely, they were Nosedives.

"Afternoon," Duke greeted as he came from the direction of the locker room.

The human jumped a little, startled that he wasn't alone. It was amazing how these ducks could appear from nowhere, although Duke was especially guilty of this. He never knew when one was around the rink or when they were gone. Some of the other rink rats suspected the team lived at the arena, but nobody had been able to find sleeping quarters. It was one of those things he'd decided not to question.

"Hey, Duke. Didn't know you were here."

"Not staying for long. I'm heading out on one of Phil's stunts."

"What's he got you doing this time?" The equipment manager started pushing the laundry bin towards the door.

"Some bookstore has a grand opening and they wanted local sports stars there." He leaned against the wall, watching Chuck. "This one don't sound too bad, but I'm sure kids are gonna be all over me again."

"Well, have fun."

"I'd look out if I were you," the gray duck warned. "Nosedive was laughing and heading in your direction about ten minutes ago."

"I hope he's not hiding in the washing machine again," Chuck sighed.

"He probably is. Kid don't know that repeating a joke too soon gets old and we start ta expect it."

A calculating smile spread across the humans face as an idea occurred to him.

"Thanks for the heads up, Duke."

"No problem," he said with a wave as he left.

0000

The large canvas bin preceded Chucks entrance into the laundry room. He pushed it to its normal corner to be sorted through. Spying the hose, left out yet again, he shook his head and pretended to be frustrated that he had to clean it up once again.

The darkly skinned gentleman made sure the nozzle valve was closed when he turned on the water. He brought the hose with him when he walked to the washing machines. Opening one door, he found Nosedive and turned on the water full force, drenching the would-be prankster.

"Hey! No fair!" Nosedive coughed and sputtered as the water hit him.

A deep, booming laugh shook Chucks belly.

"Got ya," he winked at the duck as he turned off the water.

Nosedive climbed out of the machine, soaking wet. He twisted his hair, wringing a good stream of water from it.

"How'd you know I was in there?"

"A little bird told me."

"Something tells me that bird wasn't so little."

"Here," Chuck tossed a towel to the drenched duck. "Dry off. You're getting water all over the floor!"

"Come on, man. Who told you?"

"You'll just have to find out for yourself."

Nosedive threw a bright smile at Chuck as he exited the laundry room, leaving a trail of water behind him.

"Careful, Chucky-boy. I might come after you again if I can't figure out who told!"

The human continued laughing to himself and he started sorting the laundry. Revenge was sweet, if a little wet at times.

* * *

Another prank! Yet again, inspired by real life ;) Yes, washing machines in hockey arenas are big enough to fit someone in!


	5. I See London, I See France

**10/10/2013 - **What's a duck to do when a vital piece of clothing goes missing?

* * *

Mallory fell back into the overstuffed, white leather chair with a relaxed sigh as she put her feet up on the matching ottoman. They had just won a very difficult game against the Quahogs and she was exhausted as well as starving.

On home game nights, Kari and the rest of the kitchen staff would cook up a post game meal. Tonight, in a twist of irony, it was clam chowder with cheddar biscuits. These meals were always served in the privacy of the player lounge, a safe haven from the prying questions and cameras of newscasters.

Carefully balancing the bowl of soup, a biscuit, and the remote, she flipped channels until she found one broadcasting their game. Duke was on the screen, talking to a sea of microphones thrust under his beak. Bits of Duke's hockey gear hung on the hooks of his stall behind him. He still wore his black body suit. It was with a small bit of amusement that Mallory noticed him combing through his rather flat, sweaty hair with his fingers in an attempt to make it look better on screen.

"Yeah," the gray drake nodded. "It was tough. But Nosedive and Mallory did a great job with the assists."

"And how do you feel about that penalty called against-" The reporter halted his question at Duke's puzzled and distant gaze as something off camera caught his attention. The camera swung around to broadcast an almost-naked Nosedive for all of the fangirl's enjoyment.

Nosedive's hair was soaking wet and plastered to his face. A white towel wrapped around his waist was the closest thing to clothing he had donned. That normally cheerful, prankish face wore an annoyed frown.

"Uh, problem, Nosedive?" Duke raised an eyebrow.

Wildwing running through the lounge distracted Mallory from the screen. He bolted through the room at near top speed before reaching the door on the other side. After opening it, he paused and turned around, jogging through the lounge once more. He stopped at the refrigerator and removed something leafy and green from the interior, stuck the vegetation in the freezer, and turned to leave. The smell of clam chowder caused him to stop and inspect the food Kari had left out for them. Smiling, he lifted the lid of the soup tureen and inhaled the delicious aroma. A quick glance towards the door seemed to settle the agitated drake and he calmly walked across the room once more, heading for the exit.

"Care to explain what that was all about?" Mallory was beyond perplexed. She'd expect this behavior from Nosedive, not Wildwing. Besides, it was completely unlike him to go running around in his still smelly, green bodysuit. At her question, the hand holding some sort of black cloth quickly vanished behind his back.

"Uh, no." It was amazing how much he looked like Nosedive when he smiled like that. "You didn't see me in here, okay?"

"Um... Okay?" She tilted her head curiously.

"That's an order, McMallard," he jokingly laughed as he once more opened the door and left the player lounge, jogging down the hallway and glancing both ways to make sure nobody else had seen him.

"Something smells good," Tanya's voice came from the kitchenette area. The blond tech ladled a serving for herself into her bowl and snagged a biscuit before sitting down on the loveseat catty-corner to Mallory's chair. "Guess Duke got the short end of the hockey stick this time, huh?"

"Looks like it." Mallory took another bite of soup. "We'll probably all have to go back out there in a little bit and sign autographs if Phil has anything to say about it."

"Please, no," Tanya groaned, her head tilting back to rest on the couch cushion. "I've had enough for tonight."

"All right," Nosedive demanded as he stormed into the player lounge. "Where are they?"

"Where's who?" Mallory questioned. Upon turning around, she saw that he was still in the state of undress he'd displayed on television earlier. "Nosedive! Go put some clothes on!"

"I'd be happy to, Mal-o-ry. Just give me back my underwear!"

"Why would I even _want_ your underwear?" She turned back to her meal and the television, dismissing his demands.

"I don't know, but someone took it! I already checked the cooler in the locker room and the ice box in the hallway." He growled in frustration as he crossed his muscular arms over his bare chest. "Duke's been with those reporters since the end of the game, so I know he didn't do it. Grin never plays pranks and Wildwing wouldn't come up with something like this. So, that leaves you or Tanya."

"Did you try the refrigerator?" Tanya asked, shocked at the blatant dismissal of an agreed upon rule. Nobody appeared outside of the showers without their body suits at the minimum. It was a basic courtesy since both genders shared the locker room and dressing room.

"Tanya," he seemed surprised. "You?" Nonetheless, he opened the refrigerator and checked.

"No, I didn't steal your underwear." Tanya did nothing to hide her condescending tone.

Upon discovering nothing other than food in the stainless steel appliance, Nosedive investigated the freezer. Frowning, he pulled out the leafy green that Wildwing had stashed in there moments ago.

"He's gonna get it," Nosedive smirked as he slowly shook his head back and forth.

"Who?" Tanya had missed the whole Wildwing-running-through-the-room incident.

"Wildwing." He held up the palm-sized foliage. "I put cabbage on his sandwich instead of lettuce yesterday. Where'd he go?"

"Haven't seen him," Mallory tried to hide her smile behind a cheesy biscuit. "Might want to check the rink. He could have left it on the ice."

Sighing in frustration, the young duck left the lounge, still searching for his underwear. As soon as the door closed, Mallory burst out laughing.

Tanya stared at her teammate through purple-tinted glasses, perplexed by her reaction. She had half a mind to go scold Nosedive for appearing in the lounge as naked as the day he hatched, even if he did have a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Wait," the blond's eyes suddenly went wide. "Do you think he's actually going, to, you know, check the rink?"

"If he does," Mallory tried to get her smile under control so she could enjoy some more soup. "You can be sure it'll end up on TV!"

* * *

**End AN:** Yet another prank inspired by real life! Check out the youtube video "Have you seen Paul Bissonnette's Missing Underwear?" if you would like to see the inspiration for this tale.


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